Today’s sysmatic European quarterfinal in which Wales sent heavy favorites Belgium home after a 3-1 defeat caught your Blog Hostess’ attention for more than one reason. (1) Obviously duh, the game was an honest-to-God, edge-of-your-seat matchup. Literally, we were on the edge of the couch. The best our posture’s been in years. (2) We are now convinced that any national team with a royal representin’ will ultimately suffer an untimely defeat at the UEFA European Championships in France. If only Fellaini’s afro had been a little wider in diameter maybe those goal would have gone in…
Belgium, ranked #2 by FIFA even though we all know those rankings are total BS, seemed to have a cake-walk when they drew Wales instead of England for the Euro Quarterfinal matchup. King Philippe and heir-apparent Princess Elisabeth were shocked with the rest of the Red Devil supporters in the stands. This isn’t the first instance of underdog victory against footballers representing a monarchy.
During the round of 16, Prince William expressed his joy that England would be playing Iceland instead of facing off against the animated hair-gel sculpture also known as Cristiano Ronaldo. Yup, we’re in the future also…Unfortunately, the Duke of Cambridge didn’t realize that his prescense at the 3 Lions’ draw against Slovakia had already sealed their fate against the little Ísland that could.
Most of you know that here we don’t gush over the Windsors at all but those specs on William are terribly becoming. However, your Blog Hostess and most of ITV’s viewership were left wondering what ex-BBC pundit Greg Dyke shouted when Harry Kane’s header didn’t hit home. William has yet to comment on the UEFA unpleasantness.
King Felipe was definitely spotted in the bleachers more than once to root for defending champs Spain this June. We are also 98% certain one of his daughters was in attendance at least once. (Don’t ask us which one, Sofía and Leonor are interchangably indistinguishable unless they stand side-by-side.) Although the ‘seleccion de oro’ has oxidized considerably since 2012, let’s not blame coach Vincente del Bosque, duke of el Bosque, for the early Euro exit. We all know it’s because Spain’s monarch was in the stands. Strange, Felipe still has his job but they told Vinny to hit the bricks.
Finally, we come to poor Sweden. No, they weren’t underdogs. Yes, their showing in the tournament was total malarkey and, in a paltry effort to motivate a lackluster squad to victory, Swedish scoring machine Zlatan Ibramovich announced that this would be the last tournament in which he suited up in canary yellow. Sweden did not advance past the group stage when they failed to beat Belgium. Ironically, Sweden wasn’t jinxed by their monarch or even heir to the throne. Second-born and second-tier royal rep Prince Carl Phillip watched on in Nice. Fun fact, not one but two princes were in attendance. [Cue ‘the Spin Doctors’ if you can stomah it.] Prince Albert of Monaco made the 20-minute drive to watch simply because he enjoys the beautiful game. No image appeared of the man who puts the ‘prince’ in ‘principality’ on international broadcast because Albert was there for the love of the sport, not a political photo-op. Seriously royal personages, who wears a scarf and a suit in late June? Think it through! Yeesh!
As a girl who enjoys billing herself as “more superstitious than a Pisces starting pitcher,” we feel we must implore the Duke of Cornwall to stay home. Charles also enjoys a moniker as prince of a wonderful country that’s having one helluva Euro debut. But please, pretty please, learn a lesson here and don’t attend the semifinal. Make your sons surrender their passports! Watch the match on the telly in the living room if you suddenly espouse Wales. We are simply having too much fun watching the Unselfish Eleven to say goodbye just yet.